Astronomy Humor

For time to time I come across humor related to astronomy in magazines or on the web. I will add them here, and hope you enjoy them!

Amateur Astronomer Jokes by Marie Drake Planetarium

Amateur Astronomer Jokes by Anthony Ayiomamitis

Andy Blackburn's Astronomy Humor Page

A humorous astronomy cartoon by Michael Cole that we can all identify with.

Astronomy & Space Cartoons by T. McCracken

5000+ off the mark Cartoons by Mark Parisi

Lin's The Far Side of Astronomy

Back in 1982 I was reading the April issue of Deep Sky Monthly (DSM) magazine, volume 6, number 4, and enjoyed reading the astronomical "what they say" and "what they really mean" quotations that were printed on page 14. I recently wrote to Dave Eicher, who was the Editor and Publisher of DSM, if I could reproduce it, and he agreed. Thanks Dave! Dave is currently Managing Editor of Astronomy Magazine.

What They Say: What They Really Mean:
It is a difficult double star. If you see two stars, it is probably wishful thinking.
This is a test for a 4" telescope. Use a 10" and maybe you'll see it.
An experienced observer can detect the star's variability. If you haven't been observing for at least ten years, don't try it.
The color contrast is striking. One star is white, the other is white.
The spectrum is unusual. I can't understand it.
The ideal book for an amateur. Brush up on your math.
The cluster has over two hundred stars. I counted twenty-five with a 10" telescope.
The slightest haze will obscure it. You probably won't see it on the clearest night.
The telescope's optics are superb. They magnify atmospheric disturbances perfectly.
The site offers clear skies year round. It is two hundred miles from civilization.
A person with average eyesight can split this pair. Over half the world is blind.
If it is cloudy, other activities are planned. Let's gobble down some pizza and swill beer.
Observations were terminated at 2 AM because of haze. I got cold and sleepy, and I ran out of Vanilla Wafers.
"Uh, that's neat." (Spoken by your non-astronomer neighbor after being shown M31). "How much did you say you paid for this thing?"
I think it is only the wind in the trees or a cow in that field or something. It will probably eat me and then march on Tokyo.
After moonrise, members ceased deep-sky activities and enjoyed pleasant views of the moon. Everybody (a) cursed, (b) seared their retinas before packing up, and (c) went home.
I found the views provided by the 2-meter to be very pleasing Wow! Would you look at that! Kowabunga!
I can just suspect it with a 4" at East Haddam, CT You-know-who wishes he were still using the 10" in Kansas. (Note: they were referring to the late Walter Scott Houston).